Most of us spend our lives hoping and wishing for little things to come true or happen. I admit that I have high expectations on myself and more often than not, I drive myself forward to make sure that it happens for me, or to state loosely 'I damn well make sure i get what i want..'. I will run the distance and put in the effort to pave the road to success.
Unfortunately, i was stumped today by a single letter.... and it hit me real bad. It wasn't what I was hoping to read, neither did it make any sense to me at all. I didn't know what to think, and after a while, disappointment set in - self-doubt, all the 'why?'s and 'what went wrong?'s'.. and finally the tears.
It led me to wonder a number of things:
1. Perhaps I think too highly of my abilities and capabilites, and expect people to see along my lines.
2. Perhaps I'm just plain incompetent.
3. Perhaps I've just been an idiot and making a fool of myself.
4. Perhaps this dream of mine is just wishful thinking..
Whatever it is, at least that letter has put an end to my butterflies in tummy week, and I can just move on in life. I feel like i've just ended a major relationship with somebody... the 'heartbreak', closure and moving on...
Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming each night.......Btw Tracy my dear corn queen.. if you're reading this.. thanks very much for your encouragement ever since that day along door 1 when you found out about my interview... You're the biggest star around :)
No comments:
Post a Comment