Life and Letters

So i'm 23 years old now. Thanks to all for your birthday wishes and presents. It wasn't an eventful birthday, but it was good enough spending time with the people i care about and love. Even if it meant swearing like crazy in the morning because I was freaking out about having to give my first ever undergraduate lecture, falling asleep in the computer cluster on campus and having a german class and eating frozen pizzas for dinner... but it was a nice evening. Thanks to proko for the nice poster, poot for a little piglet that's sitting on top of my computer now, sis for a much needed calculator to see me through my BSc degree, wogar for my really really cute and very very nice Mp3 player :D:D:D, and everyone who sent me ecards or long distance SMS/texts :)

Suddenly, being 23 seems to be weird. I'm at an age where i just feel old and that i'm not doing much in my life to justify being 23. At 23, i'm not employed, i don't have a proper income, i only have meagre savings and i'm still a student!

One question which A posed to me that evening was: 'so have you been happy with the past year?' I would say a definite yes. I couldn't feel more blessed. I have people around me who care about me, I have a mommy who still loves me no matter what, I have friends who I can talk to about my innermost thoughts, and most importantly, I have a God who I believe in. Over the past year, I think I've really learnt what having a sense of responsiblity really means. It's not just handing in assignments on time or doing a job well, it's being honest with oneself and not letting myself down. It even means caring and loving that someone to the extent of plain honesty and having a guilt-free relationship even me thinks...

Today, I figured out another kind of responsibility I have learnt. I teach little kids violin and piano and two of my students are taking ABRSM exams over the next two days. One particular kid has her ups and downs. Some weeks she's brilliant, some weeks I just feel like yelling. But today when she just played everything perfectly and told me that she wants to do well tomorrow, that sense of happiness and pride is just inexplicable. Never mind that I bribe her every week with little gifts to make her practice. But the fact that she knows that she has a responsibility to try her best to do well tomorrow at 1245 is just another step forward for her. I can't wait to hold her hand tomorrow to bring her into her examination room, adjust her piano stool for her and set her down properly on the piano, and wait eagerly for her to finish her exam... Cos to me, I have been responsible for this child's music education ever since she started piano at 4 years old and I couldn't be more proud of my dear Julia. An amazing kid with an amazing talent and a special something in her. I couldn't have felt more like a real teacher until today.

As I was listening to some hymns on the bus today on my little mezzleymoo (yes, that's my mp3 player's name), I felt so blessed. Blessed to have caring friends, a supportive family and a boyfriend who does nearly everything for me, Blessed to be able to impart knowledge to others and cultivate the talent which God planted in them... Thank you God.