Life and Letters

Sometimes people tell me that i'm very lucky to be able to study overseas for such a long time. Sometimes people even go 'wah!!!!!!!' when i say that i'm in the UK studying.

Yes, it all seems very glamarous and fortunate, yet people don't realise that many international students go through a lot of hardship emotionally when we're away from home this long. It's not only just homesickness when we really need to be with our family.

Today I received news that my Granny passed away. She wasn't my real grandmother, but she treated me like her real grand-daughter. I never had the chance to tell her how much I love her; I wasn't able to be at her side when she left this world. Now I can't even be at her funeral to pay my last respects to her. I don't even have a photo of her and it hurts me so much that I have to put up with all this 7,000 miles from my Granny's resting place. It's simply painful.

I last saw her about 1.5 months ago. She was in tubes and my Godmother had set up a hospital for her at home with doctors and nurses round by her side 24/7. It hurt me so much that I went home and cried for ages. I kept asking myself 'what if Granny leaves when I'm not in Singapore?'. My mum said, 'Granny is a strong woman. She has lived a very blessed and wonderful life. Be happy for her.'

Yes, my Granny was a very generous and kind lady. Even though i'm not her real grand-daughter, she offered to pay for my education. She told my mum never to refrain from asking her for help. When I was much younger, I would pluck a hibiscus flower from my mum's garden and give it to her everyday (we were neighbours back then).

I wish i could still pluck a red hibiscus flower for her... It hurts so much to know that i'll never be able to give her one ever again.

Rest in peace Granny. I will study hard and make you very proud of me.